The Fulfillment of Living: Returning to What Is Already Here

 

There are these moments in life — peak moments, flashes of deep joy, flow, a kind of inner brightness — when everything feels utterly alive. And then something interesting happens. The mind, in its eagerness to help us, tries to capture that aliveness and turn it into a formula.

 

In Co-Active Coaching, we call this the saboteur. It’s the part of us that takes a living experience and freezes it into a rulebook. It wants to repeat the peak moment by controlling the conditions around it. Instead of letting fulfillment flow through us, it starts telling us where fulfillment should be found.

 

Suddenly, without noticing it, we start chasing what was once already here.

 

We begin to believe we can only feel fulfilled through certain circumstances, certain activities, certain identities. However, fulfillment itself is open, fluid, moment-to-moment. It doesn’t need a script.

 

What is a saboteur? 

The Saboteur is a cluster of thoughts and feelings that tries to keep our life the same. It feels protective, almost supportive, but it subtly holds us back from what we truly want.

 

It is a natural, permanent part of being human — neither good nor bad. It loses its power when we recognize it, see that we have choice, and act from what we truly desire in the moment.

 

Clay, Creativity, and the Seduction of the Formula

 

As an artist, I’ve always been drawn to clay. Even as a toddler, I remember the wet sand between my fingers — the earth mixed with water, the texture, the coolness, the joy of shaping something that hadn’t existed a moment before.

 

Many of my most ecstatic moments happen while working with clay. But not every session in the studio is blissful — sometimes there’s judgment, frustration, or resistance.

 

But the mind sees those peak moments and declares: “This is it. Here is your fulfillment. Do more of this.”And then something tender becomes a task. Clay becomes a should:

•I should be making art.

•I should make more time for clay.

•I’d be more fulfilled if I were sculpting instead of doing this household chore.

 

This is the saboteur tightening around something that was once free and alive.

 

Saboteurs and the Quiet Voice of the Heart

 

Saboteurs aren’t enemies. They’re patterns that want to keep us safe and predictable.Their language is always a kind of tightening: you should, you have to, this isn’t it, something better is out there.

 

The heart speaks differently.

It offers a spark — a resonance, a soft pull toward what feels alive right now. When I follow that spark, everything becomes lighter, fresher, more effortless.

From that place, even the simplest actions become fulfilling.The moment itself becomes expressive.

Even cleaning the toilet can turn into an art performance —a playful, embodied expression of presence and creativity.

 

The mundane becomes a doorway.

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The Open Heart and the Nature of Enthusiasm

 

The word enthusiasm comes from the Greek 'enthousiasmos', meaning "inspired or possessed by a god,"

And that’s exactly how it feels: not forced, not manufactured, but arising naturally from within.

 

The open heart welcomes life exactly as it is —the warmth of sunlight on the skin, a breeze passing, the constant movement of sensations and shapes in awareness.

 

Fulfillment is not something we chase.It’s something we relax into.It’s the spaciousness of the heart recognizing the beauty of this very moment —nothing added, nothing corrected, nothing achieved.

 

In Summary

 

•The saboteur tries to recreate fulfillment through control and conditions.

•The heart lives from fulfillment that is already present.

•Peak experiences are wonderful, but they become traps when turned into formulas.

•True fulfillment feels like resonance, openness, effortlessness.

 

When we rest in an open heart — receptive, curious, willing to be touched by life — every moment becomes a canvas, every gesture an expression of beauty, every breath a quiet arrival.

 

Amen.